Change

Today we reached a milestone.  When I offered my son 'num-nums' at nap time, he declined.  Said, "no, thank-you".  I felt a mixture of pride and sadness.  Pride for his growing independence, sadness for his growing independence... I'm noticing that we are entering new territory now.  For so long, I've identified myself in parenting terms.  "Baby wearer."  "Co-sleeper."  "Cloth diaper-er."  I had my son in the Ergo a few weeks ago and I noticed that it fits us differently these days.  It doesn't come up so high on his back anymore.  I have a harder time wearing him for a full day now.  He wants to "walk please".  He asks to ride in the stroller.  It's new and different for me.  He is (mostly) sleeping through the night and falling asleep holding my hand instead of nursing down.  He'll hold my hand till he's drowsy, and then he says "ni-night" and rolls over.  Yesterday, when I left for church without him, (he has a cold) he waved and said "bye bye" instead of crying as I leave.  In many ways, he's becoming a 'big' boy.  He uses the potty now, no more diapers.  He pretty much made that choice on his own.  He asked me to use the potty once and never looked back after that first time.  Cloth diapering became a bit of a hobby for me, and that phase is suddenly over.  It's surprising how fast it happened.  It's surprising how fast it's all happening.  It's funny.  You can be totally aware that it's coming, but it still catches you off guard when it happens.  I look back fondly on his 'baby' phase, but I'm also looking forward to what's to come next.  We're gonna try to hold off on making another baby for now.... with the adoption happening and everything.  I'm looking forward to a bit of a break from being depended on to the level that you are with a baby.  As women, we have so many titles.  I've been so consumed with 'Mommy' for some time now, that I've lost track of some of the others.  This is totally understandable and normal when you have little ones, but I'm looking forward to taking the time in between kids to enjoy some of the others.  Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend.... ect.  Or even, Chef, Musician, Writer, Seamstress, Cosmetologist, Small business owner....  I'm going to use this time to re-discover "Me".  I'm looking forward to the things this next year will bring me.  I'm looking forward to seeing what amazing things the Lord is gonna do.  My recently married sister just found out she is gonna have a baby.  She (like me) found herself with child after only a few months of marriage.  It's such an amazing journey that she is starting out on.  The world will never again look the same as it does now.  I pray that she cherishes this special time with her hubs, establishes easy to stick to routines, enjoys and cares for her changing body, and gives herself completely to loving and caring for her hubby.  Once that first baby comes, the husband has to forever share his wife.  Make those months together count!  Babies are the ultimate enhancement of life, but they come with lifestyle changes.  Wife and Mother are high callings that the Lord places on one's life.  If you are serving your husband and nurturing you child/ren, you are in a ministry!  The mom's group, nursery, youth, worship team, and coffee cart are secondary.  I know all too well that the phase of highest dependency is only temporary- over before you know it.  The time in their lives that you are their source of everything is so short compared to how much of their lives they will spend getting advice, food, comfort, entertainment and acceptance from this world.  They'll get their advice from Dr, Laura and their food from Del Taco, so pour everything you have into them and pray that they remember the foundation that has been laid when they reach adolescence.
So yes, I'm moving into a new phase with my youngest, a phase that allows for a bit more wiggle room on my end, but it's just a short breather before I dig into the trenches again.  We'll bring our adopted son home and start working on giving him all those things that young babies get- things he missed out on in an orphanage.  Eventually, we hope to have another baby as well.... and then I can re-visit all my beautiful cloth diapers ;)  In the meantime, I'm gonna make my man a nice dinner.  I'm gonna pick my dusty guitar back up.  I'm gonna cut someone's hair.  I'm gonna read a book that isn't about parenting.  I'm gonna have coffee with my dad.  I'm gonna sit down at my sewing machine.  And if I'm lucky, I'll nurse my son down to sleep.

 OH, MOTHERS OF YOUNG CHILDREN, I BOW BEFORE YOU IN REVERENCE. YOUR WORK IS MOST HOLY. YOU ARE FASHIONING THE DESTINIES OF IMMORTAL SOULS. THE POWERS FOLDED UP IN THE LITTLE ONES THAT YOU HUSHED TO SLEEP IN YOUR BOSOMS LAST NIGHT, ARE POWERS THAT SHALL EXIST FOREVER. YOU ARE PREPARING THEM FOR THEIR IMMORTAL DESTINY AND INFLUENCE. BE FAITHFUL. TAKE UP YOUR SACRED BURDEN REVERENTLY. BE SURE THAT YOUR LIFE IS SWEET AND CLEAN.--JR MILLER